Ari Is Withdrawn And Depressed - Carole Wilbourn
Carole Wilbourn, The Cat Therapist, has been the leading voice in feline therapy for over 5 decades. She has helped thousands of cat moms and dads explore, face, and resolve cat behavioral and health issues. Carole is truly the most trusted Cat Therapist in the United States.
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21 Nov Ari Is Withdrawn And Depressed

Posted at 05:09h in Blog by

With attention and acknowledgement, 15 year old senior cat recovers from the “rejection complex” — no longer withdrawn and depressed.

Ari Is Withdrawn And Depressed
(Rejection Complex)
“Carole, Ari is no longer bummed out. He’s lazily sprawled out on the sun-filled window sill and about to initiate some mischief with his bro and sis, as their music plays in the background. Their session was the silver bullet.”

Lifelong partners reunited — await Lana’s tuck-in

Ari Withdraws
Lana had called me in despair because her 15 year old Ari was not himself. Two days ago he planted himself in his favorite out of the way spot by the corner of the sofa and only emerged to eat and use the litter box.
“Ari doesn’t greet me by the door and avoids me. If I manage to hold or brush him, he invariably retreats to his spot. He totally avoids any provocative interaction with his litter mates, Rosie and Ben, which he usually initiates.”

Ari was toy-happy, before he withdrew

Ari’s Session
As we hung out on the floor nearby, with Ari beside the couch, Rosie and Ben snoozed nearby in the bedroom. The three litter mates had a loose, live and let live relationship. Ari demanded most of Lana’s attention. Rosie had her moments. Ben’s acceptance of affection was on the short side.

Ari Welcomes Contact
Ari accepted my strokes on his head and chin which told me he wanted to be noticed. He didn’t slide behind the couch but sniffed some catnip I sprinkled on some toys while I went into the bedroom to offer Rosie and Ben some nip and toys. Rosie preferred to stay in nap mode while Ben, usually the out of sight guy, came forward to check out the offerings.
Later as I stroked and acknowledged Ari, he gave me a darting glance and slowly backed up behind the couch. I turned around to see Lana with Ben beside her chair as she talked to him.

The Tell Tale Sign
Ari’s sudden withdrawal behavior resonated with me. His instinctive kitty radar had told him Ben was present. His reaction was to withdraw. He felt abandoned and chose to withdraw from the painful feeling.

Gradual Withdrawal
“So that’s what you meant when you asked if there was a change in their relationship,” said Lana. “It was so gradual I didn’t think too much of it, but Ben has been more in need of my attention and affection. Certainly not like Ari who is usually my shadow and gets tons of my time. He knows I love him.”

Ben reaches out for more attention

Ari Relives Kitten Deprivation
“Doesn’t matter, Ari feels displaced and rejected. It’s a flash-back to a feeling of kitten deprivation — long before you adopted him and his litter mates. He actually relives that angst that’s in his muscle memory and emotions. His withdrawal is his feline shout-out that he’s unhappy,” I said.
“So what should I do?” said Lana.“ I love the three of them. I can’t ignore Ben.” said Lana.
“And you won’t,” I said. “Ari,” I explained, “was not prepared for Ben’s change in his relationship with you. He is used to the usual routine and couldn’t accept, couldn’t integrate this change.”

#Me Too Acknowledgment — Acknowledge Ari
So, whenever you talk, touch or interact with Ben in any way, even if Ari is sound asleep in another room, acknowledge Ari verbally. “Isn’t that good Ari, right Ari, you take such good care of everybody.”  Include him so he doesn’t feel excluded.
“That’s all I have to do?” said Lana.
I chuckled as I said, ”Keep it simple. If it turns out that Ben and Rosie feel neglected, mention them or “right guys” whenever you interact with Ari.”
“I see. All for one, and one for all,” said Lana.
“You’ve got it,” I said as Ari head bumped Lana’s leg.